Hannah's morning routine



I am vehemently opposed to all the thing pre-6 am. Or pre-7 am. Or, honestly, pre-8 am. Unless I am looking at a sunrise and have been provided with copious amounts of coffee, you will not see me before the crack of dawn. My parents told me that when I was a baby, they called the hospital out of concern for my deep and extensive sleeping. My roommate of three years once actually thought I was dead. I once fell out of the top bunk of a bunk bed and did not wake up.

This is all to say that WAKING UP IS THE PITS. Zooey Deschanel said it best: "No one should talk before 10 am. People should just hug because waking up is really hard."

One of the things I love about our job here is that we don't have to arrive at school until 9 am. My first thought was "Brilliant! I can sleep until 8:30!" But recently, in an earnest attempt to become a classy grown-up, I have striven to create a morning routine for myself which necessitates an early wake-up time.

My morning plans have included, but have not been limited to: working out, reading, skyping family and friends, practicing Korean, reading the news, cooking breakfast, going for a walk.... Think of all the possibilities of morning productivity when you don't have to leave for work until 8:45! Carpe diem!

I have read so many articles and blog posts lately, written predominantly by classy, poised women in crisp white shirts, that relate the importance of having a morning routine. Maybe they don't actually wear crisp white shirts, but that is what I envision when I read the following:

7:05 Alarm goes off
7:10 Get out of bed (Hit snooze once - leave room for imperfection! Because I am a real woman!)
7:14 Put the coffee on
7:17 Read my Bible
7:25 Prepare a hot breakfast for my husband
7:40 Establish world peace
7:45 Start the day

My attempts to create my own morning routine have, in reality, resulted in two things: 1. My yelling "I WILL NEVER MEASURE UP" and 2. The following routine (a typical morning for me):

Hannah's Morning Routine
7:05 Alarm goes off
7:10 Alarm goes off again
7:15 Alarm goes off again
7:20 Alarm goes off again
7:25 Alarm goes off again
7:30 Alarm goes off again
7:35 Alarm goes off again. I'd like to say I'm exaggerating at this point, but I can assure you I am not.
7:40 Alarm goes off again.
7:45 Alarm goes off again. I marvel at the pleasantly plush comfort of my pillow. The intoxicating weight of the comforter. The exponential increase in silkiness the sheets have magically underwent during the night. The normally fussy and ho-hum mattress that has somehow transformed into a paradisiacal cloud.
7:50 Alarm goes off again.
7:55 Alarm goes off again. I make some comment about mornings being the scum of the earth.
8:00 Alarm goes off again.
8:05 Trevor comes into the room and asks if I know what time it is. I say (and/or growl) "yes" and keep my eyes closed.
8:10 Trevor comes into the room and asks if I have plans to shower. I make some comment regarding the preposterousness of humans being socially required to shower every single morning.
8:11 I sit up, fumble for my glasses, and thank the good lord that stretchy headbands and headscarves exist. Because my hair typically looks like this:

8:12 I sit down at the kitchen table to eat cereal, because "My stomach is more important than my face" (and yes I just quoted myself). In other words, almond flakes > makeup.
8:25 I throw on clothes, brush my teeth, and sprint to the bus stop to catch our ride to work.
8:40 I walk into my classroom and start the coffee before I start my computer.

It would not at all surprise me if at some point in the near future I move my toothbrush and entire wardrobe (and bed?) to school.

If the peaceful photo of coffee that accompanied this post led you astray, I apologize. Allow that photo to reflect that for which I am striving: Peaceful, dainty, unhurried mornings. I'll let you know when I get there. But for now, let the second frazzled-hair photo assume all accuracy when it comes to my Daily Dawn Drama.