Taiwan: Enshrined meat, bamboo shoots, and a long-lost friend

My spontaneity, to use the word liberally, normally takes the form of "I chopped too many vegetables so now I'm making a frittata instead of an omelet." A couple weeks ago, however, it stepped up its game a bit and resulted in my hopping on a plane to Taiwan. The home of a dear friend and a mere two-hour flight from Korea, this visit was long overdue.

I met Serina Chao in the great state of Ohio during our early high school days. I was a 15-year-old midwestern girl who had once traveled as far as South Dakota. She was a 15-year-old Taiwanese girl whose eagerness to experience the rural American midwest led her to uproot her life and spend a year immersed its cornfields. With her presence, Convoy's Asian community increased approximately 100% percent, and my happiness 1000%. Our friendship was immediate, phenomenally easy, and long-lasting. To visit her eight years later in her own home on the other side of the world was one of the most wonderful things I have experienced.

The trip was a whirlwind. An intrepid tour guide, Serina led me to countless sights in and around the city of Taipei.

View of Taipei from a mountain bordering the city

Temple on the mountain

Jiufen Village

A quiet park in Taipei

Lanterns in a temple

Memorial for Chiang Kai-shek, my favorite place in Taipei

Awesome cat on a scooter

Ok, enough sightseeing. Let's address the crown jewel of Taiwan. The créme de la créme. The heralder of stinky tofu, sugar glazed strawberries, and glistening meat products. 

The food. 

A delicious, glistening meat product, replete with bamboo shoots

I will over-simplistically call this "mango ice cream." It deserves a better name.

I evaded stinky tofu in China. No such success in Taiwan.

Adorable Serina and the most delicious cake ever created

A proper Taiwanese meal and a random smiley dude we don't know

Some food did glisten in a good way — the glucose way 

Latte + Tea = Lattea

Little dumpling guy

More glistening meat!

Beef and noodles — I recognize these

Serina's wonderful family

11th meal or so of the day. My stomach is less delighted than my face. My taste buds are more.

Chinese pancake

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This joyful reunion of friends. This flurry of exploration. This gluttonous gorging on delicacies. All fall short of
the Meat-shaped Stone.

Serina and I were meandering through the halls of the National Palace, a reasonable enough tourist activity, when suddenly she remarked with alarming nonchalance that we must NOT forget to see the stone that looks like meat.

My reaction was less nonchalant. Excuse me? Why is there a stone shaped like meat? Why is it in the National Palace? What relation has it to ancient Chinese dynasties and their oriental tea sets? Also, does meat have a particular shape to which an item can recognizably conform?

Serina, a true friend, responded by laughing and dragging me into a mile-long line, filled with Chinese people who, she informed me, "want the meat-shaped stone."

"They want the rock that looks like meat?"

"Yes. It is special."

So, I waited, surrounded by tourists who seemed to think standing in an endlessly snaking line to see a rock that looks like meat was the most normal and obvious behavior for any reasonable human being.

When we finally entered the meat-rock's exhibit hall — it certainly had its own exhibit hall — a wave of awe swept over me, and the hallowed silence rung in my ears. There it was, enshrined in its glass case, in the very center of the room. The rock. It looked like...meat. And that was that.

Is there a back story? No. Not more than a guy who thought the stone's natural strata looked a great deal like pork cooked in soy sauce and therefore decided to manipulate it to reach its lofty lookalike potential (as all people who see a stone whose natural strata looks like pork cooked in soy sauce decide to do).

But when I looked at this Meat-shaped Stone with my naked eye, I understood. I understood in a way that I cannot explain here. I understand in a way that you will understand only if you make this pilgrimage for yourself, if you yourself bear witness to this glorious intersection of the natural and the man-created.

I now present to you an internet-procured photo of the Meat-shaped Stone, as countless enamored tourists pressed themselves to the glass case, prohibiting the view from my camera lens.

Tune in next time to hear all about its neighbor, the Jadeite Cabbage, which is exactly what you think it is.

P.S. Typically a devout hater of tourist trinkets in gift shops, I was brought to my knees by this display and purchased my own miniature version, which I shall cherish always. I dare each and every one of you to stand in its presence and not do the same.